sitting, patiently, waiting for something
an experience, a change, an altered setting
an altercation of my generation
lost in this sea of obsessive sensations
possessing monstrous thoughts
growing tired of the same old spots
stricken, burdened, face it again
ashamed, embarrassed, lost in this zen
looking back, around, and away
forcing and leading my feelings astray
precluding, excluding, phantoms of the past
wondering when i'll be free at last.

 

 

 

What have I lost? What have I gained?
Through these thoughts I have sustained
An honest part of my reaction
To this world, but take no action
My first sin was forgetting the pain
When they told me not to complain
Hold it all in to then release
My last breath lost in this piece
I keep sinking in this depression
I have no real cases for confession
But only that which is self-inflicted
I'm impulsed to do while laying in bed
How easily the scars disappear
But those inside remain through the year
There is no sign of any hope
As I fall down a reckless slope
Life and death mean nothing to me
As I suffer in this eternity
Blind leading blind, sick to my stomach
Nothing can remove the pain that comes back
My mind never rests, constantly dreaming
Of how the world would be, if I were not living
Or breathing this thing we call air
If I die right now I wouldn't care
This pain has no solution no miracle is coming
Backstabber, hypocrite is what I'm becoming
No end to this is what I fear
Until I act and disappear